Haven’t been blogging for quite some time. But since its my Daughter’s big day, I shall write one for her.
Mary turns 7 today. She has given me quite a lot of surprises recently. Turning 7 saw certain traits of her personality changes, esp when she first went to Primary One. She turns bolder, crazier, smarter, and of course more spiritual in ways that gotta be detected.
“Mary, though Daddy has given you occasional challenges in your growing up years, Daddy knows your spirit, even as how your Lord Jesus has fully known you.”
Maybe I’ll relate something that happened late last year during Mary’s final K2 (Kindergarten 2) concert. This is something still fresh on my mind. On one of the children’s performance, she was chosen to be the narrator, to say a short note (in English) to greet the hundreds of spectators and introduce the presentation. My wife and I were of course excited and anticipating to seeing her speaks on stage, knowing that she was chosen 
among her peers to do the job. Standing on stage together with her was another little gal (2 years her junior, chosen by the teachers from another class to narrate in Mandarin). Coincidentally, I happened to know this little gal’s parents who were Christians also. Mary was told to memorize her 30 seconds speech which she did so effortlessly. However, her teacher also asked her to learn the Mandarin version (which I supposed that the teachers wasn’t too confident abt her junior, and wanted Mary to assist her, in case that little gal forgets her lines). Mary however took the task lightly, as she didn’t see the need to do so. I kinda guessed the teacher intention and told Mary to learn the Mandarin lines seriously also. Mary however took my words with a pinch of salt.
There comes the concert. It was a day for the children and the parents, esp for those whose kids are graduating from K2. It was a joyous and anticipating day, with every child looked their best, some dressed up in graduating gowns while others in their performance suit. Parents were beaming with pride and joy, upon seeing their child on stage, and cameras were shooting everywhere. The concert hall was filled with a kinda mood, where every parent is for their own child; only wanting to see their own child perform, and enjoy that proudest moment which their child could bring them.
Everything in the concert went well, till….it was Mary and her friend’s turn to narrate. Mary did it confidently, without hiccups, sounding more confident than what I would presume her to be. Then the little gal 
beside her took over and started to stammer in Mandarin. I guess the crowd was too overwhelming for her, with the cameras and hundred pairs of eyes looking at both of them. After one or two liner, she stammered and paused, and obviously she forgotten her lines. I could feel the crowd’s anguish for her, hoping somehow that embarrassing moment could be rectified. Knowing that little gal lost her lines, Mary (who was standing beside) wanted to help her with it. So she helped her with a few lines, but as expected, Mary couldn’t help her with her entire speech, becoz she didn’t take the learning of the Mandarin lines seriously. So the teacher has to embarrassingly emerge from backstage and lead the child in reciting the rest of the speech. The rest of the program later on went fine, but I felt in my heart a sadness for the child and her parents, which I later on saw it on their expression. Though it was a small matter, but somehow I could feel how the little gal’s parents felt, where every other child recited well, except for their own. So I couldn’t enjoy the rest of the concert, even though the concert went really well. There were 12 performances by 4 Kindergarten centers, and Mary and her class has indeed given the best performance with their high level of difficulty of bamboo dance, drawing the loudest applause. However, the excitement didn’t get into me as much as it did to other parents.
On the way back in the car, I recapped the concert with Mary: “Dear, did you know you’ve done 
well, and everyone was amazed? She said: “Yes, I know.” I went on to asked: “Were you afraid when you were on stage reciting?” “Not really”, she responded. “But you weren’t able to help your friend right? Didn’t you? She replied: “I can’t remember mah…” “Then do you think she’s sad and embarrassed?” Mary shrugged her shoulders, seemingly to tell me that she’s not sure. Then I told her resonantly: “That’s why daddy told you to memorize the Mandarin version, so that if your friend forgets, you could help her. Do you understand now?” Then she responded with her infamous two words: “Not fair!” (Ha, my kids always end with that note, when they couldn’t resonate with me, or felt its not their fault for some things that happen). Having brought across my point, I didn’t press on. I left that in her heart for a thinker, trusting that the Holy Spirit will work.
Actually, deep down in my heart, I knew how blessed my daughter is within her. I didn’t want to leave a guilt nor blame 
in her heart for a wrong that happened. In fact, it was not directly her fault either. However, I wanted to imprint upon her spirit abt God’s heartbeat (loving God and men), which far extends beyond the spirit of self-sufficiency or self-prosperity. To me and my wife, we’ve come to understand ‘Grace’ so much that to be the best in this world is not what we wanted anymore, but to live for the Gospel, and to bless those around us with it. We’ve gotten here thru Christ, knowing ‘Success’ with a different definition from the rest of the world. In fact, I wanted Mary to know that all her dad’s miseries and conflicts with so many people in the past stemmed from thinking and living for himself only. Even till today, I have to consciously remind my spirit to live selflessly for Christ and His people. Yet, I didn’t want Mary to see this as self-sacrificial also, becoz there is simply nothing in us to sacrifice. But what I am trying to bring across to her is to listen to Christ in living for others, and how to let Christ live through her in all ways.
Actually, Mary is a child whom I’m always proud of. She has the greatest potential among the three, so that could be the reason I demanded the most from her. She seems to have a typical 
girlish personality (petty, jealous and grievous easily…sorry gals), but there is something really spiritual that lies beneath her spirit. All these years, I’ve seen her grown and transform from her innate nature. She cannot accept hard truths immediately, but it has gotten into her over the years. I saw how she learned to love others subtly, without my instructions, and sometimes without showing too much of her compassionate side, yet being full of compassion within. She is the one who can feel the pain when I cane her brothers, and was affected most if dad and mum were to have a little bit of differences. Sometimes, knowing my wrath is gonna come upon her brothers, she will ‘coax’ her brothers into obedience. In spiritual matters, she amazingly surprises me at times. When I taught her how to test the will of the Lord, she will get it, knowing that prayers must not be ritual, but must really be lively in seeing things that happen around her. Not bad for a seven year old, I would say. Having confirmed that frequently, I knew it is the Lord who will teach all things, beyond what her father could.
Recently, there was an incident. There was a boy (whom my wife taught in K2 last year), attending the same Primary 1 with Mary. He was a consistent renowned trouble-maker in K2, but somehow has great difficulty adjusting to Primary school life. He has lost his appetite and was frequently seen reacting emotionally in class. He has lost so much weight that his mother was even thinking of withdrawing him from Primary One, and putting him back to K2. His teachers also suggested to his mother to bring him to a child psychiatric. My wife ministered to that boy’s mother (who was a back-slided Christian). We felt convicted and actually challenged Mary to buy food for this boy during recess time since he is reluctant to eat. Initially, Mary was quite reluctant to do so, thinking that it was none of her concern. Nevertheless, she still followed our instructions to do so, keeping a look out for the boy during recess time, saying ‘hello’ to him, and making sure he buys food. Somehow this gal of mine seems to have a stubborn front when told to do things sacrificially, but will somehow submit to God in the end instead of following how she felt. I guess blessed and upright people are like that, and we’ve lots of such people in our Church…J
For Mary’s birthday this year, my wife and I bought her a picture Bible, with a more comprehensive content than the usual children Bible. She was overjoyed. Yesterday, I had a good talk with her, telling her how to seek all her answers in life through God-given word. She listens attentively, and I could see her being drawn to read the Holy Book in the morning, spending substantial time doing so. In fact, nothing beats seeing my child revere God, learn abt Him and converse with Him in his/her own way. “Mary, Daddy has demand of you, becoz Daddy knows your spirit and what you’re made for. One day, you will look back and see that is not from Daddy actually, but from your Lord Jesus who truly loves and calls you.”
